It has been a good while since I posted here, suffice it to say that I am no longer owned by Him.

I have now found a new Owner, who although somewhat different from Himself is very much cut from the same cloth.

I do keep in touch with Himself and am now permitted to start posting again.

so watch this space.

Happy New Year!!!!

It looks like it might be!!!!

He is back!! Just like that unexpected Christmas card that drops onto the mat on Christmas eve, He surprised me with a "Hello"

We are talking, what will come of it, or where it will lead I have no idea!!!

But at least we are talking.

Happy new year to me!!! (and Him)

Free Fall

There has still been no contact.

I do now, consider myself free, and am adjusting to it.

It is strange, I got used to having Him in my life, and now there is a void.

I am sure I will survive.

But what does one do with a redundant collar???

The end.

There has been no contact, no replies to emails, and a dismissive response to text messages.

It has been weeks, no wait, months since I have heard from Him.

I think it's pretty safe to assume we are done.

Don't you??

Alone!

We met, we went to "our place" The Dungeon - and it was so so good!!!

Hard, intense, deep and very, very welcome.

Both of us, having very stressful "real lives", needed it to be that way.

I was whipped, flogged, and used - completely!

And for two blissful hours, He was all that mattered to me, and I was all that mattered to Him.

But all that seems so long ago now, real life has taken over, and consumed both of us.

And I am alone.

Not sure if it is permenant, time will tell.

And when it does, I will tell all.

Therapy

I am so lucky.......

Even with all the hassles my Master is having to deal with at the moment, He is taking time to help me deal with some seriously bad karma of my own.

I am losing myself in my own troubles, and it is hurting me.

So Master has decided that therapy is needed. In his words He will replace my emotional pain with the kind that suits me better!!!

So next week we return to the dungeon!!

Oh thank you Master.

I hope I don't disappoint you.

Something's missing, something's lost...

We met as arranged, and it was good to see Him.

It had been a long time.

We entered the hotel room, and I proceeded to go through my usually required ritual, only to be stopped, before my clothes were removed.

He was moving us a long at a furious pace, and in an instant paddle blows were raining down on me.

Hard and fast, harder and faster.

That describes our encounter completely.

Something had changed.

And I'm not sure it will change back.

Time will tell!!!

Well it has been a while since we last met.

Lots and lots of family and work commitments have severely limited our fun.

We are however, due to meet tomorrow.

So hopefully I will have something more interesting to tell you when I next post!!

Thanks for sticking around.

De ja vue!!

Well we met again, and it was 8 weeks since our last meeting.

8 weeks!!! It wasn't until I consulted the calendar that I realised it was so long.

Of course, I had felt every minute of it, but I really didn't think it was that long.

Real life had got hold of us both and was refusing to let go. So much of our meeting was taken up with catching up.

A quick run down of the latest news, and then into our usual ritual. Ending with me kneeling for Him to fasten my collar.

And then as His hand smoothes my hair, my slave self comes to the fore.

And as the first stroke of the paddle lands, real life is lost. All that matters is standing behind me,

paddle in Hand.

The "play" was intense, without warm up and at full force. Pure bliss, as with nipples clamped hard, and labia clamped too, He "reminded" me of our purpose.

He asked me "how is the pain?" - I wanted to say "exquisite "- but I could only moan.

"Do you want more ?" - I wanted it to go on forever - but I could bearly breathe.

He was exhausted and so was I, We parted earlier than usual, real life has a lot to answer for.

Whilst every meeting is complete joy, the time in between is hard. We both have busy careers, and family committments, so every minute we manage to spend face to face is precious, and I am grateful for every one. But real life is taking its toll. And sadly, I have been here before.

Real life sucks!!!!

Scaredy Cat!!!!

We met way out of my comfort zone, I was so nervous I felt sick!!

Wearing my collar in public, and with a vibrating bullet inserted as per Master's instructions, I had travelled to the city by train.

Thankfully Master was waiting, when I got off the train.

He kissed me warmly, then offered me His arm, and led me out to the car.

We then drove to our location.

We found our way to the entrance, and were welcomed inside.

Made to feel completely at ease, and as our "Host" showed us round the Aladdin's cave of Kinkiness, I felt my stomach flip over, but in a nice, excited way, as the terror began to leave me and the thrill of what was about to happen took over.

Our Host then retreated and left us to explore and experiement in complete privacy.

Master's eyes were as big as saucers, He was like a kid let loose in a sweet shop.

Then followed 2 hours of seriously intense fun!!!!

Lots of things were tried, lots of new, exciting things.

If I had to pick favourites, then being attached to the St Andrew's cross was everything I had dreamed it would be.

Master had me cuffed to it facing out towards Him, I felt something different, something deep inside, as I watched Him flog my naked breasts. It was the first time I had watched His face as He beat me, and as He did so, a warm glow of contentment flushed over me.

Oh it was amazing!!!

Our two hours went so quickly, and although I felt physically sick all yesterday morning, it was so worth the anxiety and the apprehension.

I knew Master would never let me come to any harm, and that I would be completely safe, and I am sorry I doubted it, even for a second.

I feel deeply, deeply honoured that Master chose to take me there.

Thank you Master.

An outing

Tomorrow, Master is taking me to a professional dungeon.

It is the first time I have been anywhere like it, seen anywhere like it, until recently I didn't even know such places existed.

How am I feeling???

Absolutely terrified!!!!

Not sure why!!!!

But, although I know everything will be completely fine, I am anticipating a night without sleep.

Will report back!!!!

Time flies

We met again, quite a time since our previous meeting.

Work committments, family crises and a slave disappearing on holiday, meant that meeting was difficult.

But meet we finally did, and as usual within minutes, His control over me was complete.

I followed His instruction, and taking Him into my mouth, immediately began to sink into complete submission. His touch, His voice, His presence my only focus, my reason for being.

He then proceeded to "re-inforce" my submission, with crop, cane and leather belt.

He has also become quite attached to a gift I bought for Him.

A leather studded paddle, it is a pretty inoffensive looking thing, but in His hands, and when it lands on my body, it takes on a whole new persona. The studs bite, when it lands, and then the leather thuds, and the burn begins.

And as all this happens, my body craves more, and I need Him to use me.

And He does. Over and over, until I am exhausted, and so, so happy!

Thank you, Master.

Happy New Year

We met again, the first time for a while, work, family and deathly plagues having taken their toll on our meeting times, but within seconds of being in His company, I was His slave.

I had been given a task, a task designed to have me aroused and ready for Him, and it worked!

I was desperately on edge, I wanted Him touch me, to use me, to own me, and as His hand stroked my naked shoulder, I began to float.

He tied me, clamped me, blindfolded me, and beat me.

And it was exquisite.

Pain, intense pain, interspersed with intense pleasure, pure intense pleasure.

Over and over again.

And with the promise of much more to come, I belong to Him

Thank you Master,

Happy New Year!

Push, push, push!!!

We met again, and it was wonderful.

He has a plan - to push me harder, push me further, push me deeper.

And that includes my pain threshold.

He had told me that it would be a new level of pain, and it was.

The blows were much harder, there was no "warming up" It was much more intense.

And I loved it. Like the painslut I have become.

But there was more, this time there was kisses!

Each time He moved, or changed implements, or target, there were kisses.

It was heavenly.

I think I understand what He is trying to achieve. By mixing the pain and pleasure so completely, I will achieve release from either stimulus.

And by intensifying the pain, He increased my arousal almost to boiling point.

And He achieved it with a crop, a paddle, and a very effective thin cane!!

He is also playing with my mind.

He has some challenges for me, which will certainly test and push my submission to Him,

and His control over me.

I am both excited and terrified, but it is what my Master's wants for me, so it must be what I need.

He knows what is best for me.

Thank you Master

Belonging.

We met again, later than planned, because of commitments elsewhere, but He certainly made up for the delay.

He told me it would be an intense evening, and it so was.

He had a plan to push me even further.

And he did!!!!

Pain, pleasure, on there own and mixed together to the point where I couldn't distisinguish between them.

And that is exactly what He wanted, I was lost in my submission to Him.

I was lost in the pain, lost in the pleasure, lost completely.

And only He could rescue me.

And He knew how, with a magic word............

CUM!!!!

He can make me cum with a word.

And it felt amazing.

This is what I have been searching for, this is what I want, this is what I need. This is where I belong.

Thank you Master!!!

Down, Down, Down!!!

We are meeting again tomorrow, and I have been told I will be pushed still further.

This time it's another test of submission.

Have not been told the details, but that is usual, I never know exactly what will happen, and when I try and work out what will happen, I am always wrong.

But I do know it will be humiliating! I have been told!!!

Also I have been shopping, and have bought some new "offerings"
for my Master's pleasure.
One will prove humiliating, and the other will prove painful.

But both are sitting in my bag ready, and just being there are making me wet with anticipation.

I can't wait for tomorrow!!!

Another chance to prove that I am "His" - Happiness in slavery!!!!

The pleassure/pain principle

This has been the ethos by which His training works from day one,

but this latest "lesson" saw a new twist.

Master added a new twist!!!

It has always been a case of pain - lots of pain, then if master chooses, lots and lots of pleasure!!

But this time the pleasure was first!

Massaging Him, taking Him in my mouth, then having His fingers and hands coaxing orgasms from me, it was delicious.

I was tingling, that lovely post orgasm tingle. That makes your skin glow, and senses jangle.

Only then did He say the magic words "on your kness, Slut"

And almost by reflex my head is down and my ass is high and exposed.

With a deep breath, He begins.

Hand, Paddle, Strap, Crop.

Only this time, the floating starts so much sooner, within 6 strikes I am lost!!

And the to make his ownership of me complete, once the pain was dealt,

Exquisite, perfect pleasure - hard, fast and powerful!!!

Thank you Master!!!

Another lesson learned

Whole again

We are due to meet later today, and I can't wait!!!

It seems like forever since I felt His hands on my flesh, and His breath on my neck, heard His words intense, precise and pentrating. Telling me that I am His, that I am His property, that He owns me.

In reality, it has only been 2 weeks, but it seems so much longer.

Probably made worse by the fact that we haven't been able to talk very much either,

we both have busy careers and that does impact on our relationship. Something we both knew at the outset, but doesn't make it any easier to bear!

Added to that, the fact that I know have an on-line protege, and chatting and helping her through her trials and tribulations, has made me miss Him so much more.

So today I will kneel, I will obey and I will submit to my Master's will, and will be, at last,

whole again!

Pure bliss.

slutty slave

We meant again yesterday, and this time I had specific instruction, which would see this slightly prim (to the vanilla world) turn into a slut.

I was to check in to the hotel before my Master, and prepare for Him.

Then wait, until He told me of His arrival. I would then go down to the foyer and escort Him to the room.

Nothing too slutty in that you might think, expect that I was to wear a corset, heels and my coat.

My coat is short, it ends mid thigh!!

As I waited in the room for my cue, I lost count of how many times I checked to see if my ass was visible.

And then the call, He had arrived!!!

Going down the corridor, and in the lift was not a problem, I didn't see a soul.

Master was waiting by the door, we went straight into the lift, and then just as the door was about to close, two young men jumped in.

I felt the flush fly across my face, we reached our floor, and we exited the lift.

They got out too!!

Oh God, please don't let the vent in the back of my coat open and give them a shock!!

But they went in the opposite direction. Phew!!

I led the way to our room, and could feel Master watching me, I don't know if He could see, but I was getting wetter and wetter.

And as we entered the room and I removed my coat as instructed, I knew he had a slut on His hands.

I was humilated to think of what I had just down, but even more so about how aroused it had got me!!!

I was, as I am now named, a slut!!!!

Another lesson learned.

Thank you Master.

When the Master's away.............

The slave continues with her daily life as normal.

Something that has come as a bit of a shock to her.

But then again not really.

She could easily have got away with doing the bear minimum required of her, by way of her daily tasks.

And then put Him out of her mind, but She has found that impossible to do!

She has, in fact, been reading and researching, writing and reflecting, about ways in which she continues to embrace and engage in this new role, this new life that she has undertaken.

I find myself continually thinking about what my enslavement means to me.

I am, finally, in a place of peace.

A place where I can be myself, my true self.

A place where I can be me.

Me! the slave - His slave.

And nothing brings that home to me more, than my daily affirmation ritual.

I take a few minutes, when I am naked, except for my collar, and I kneel.

For my Master and also, for me too

Focusing, reflecting, embracing what I have become....

An owned, marked slave.

Oh yes!!!

Absence makes the slave sink deeper!!!

We were due to meet today, but a family crisis has meant a postponement.

It's totally understandable, and He has to be were He is needed.

As a consequence, today, He has been constantly on my mind. In my every thought.

A slave forum I contribute to has been discussing the concept and meaning of 24/7 slavery,
I have posted that I always considered that to be 24/7 you had to reside under the same roof.
But as Master and I travel further on our journey, it has become more and more apparent to me that I am, in fact, a slave 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Master is in the front of my mind at all times, so even though we are apart I am still His slave.

At all times, in all places and in all things. He owns and controls my being.

This is another of the many lessons Master has, and continues to teach me.

And I am a very eager and dedicated student.

Punishment

We met again last night, only for the first time, I was to be punished.

I had failed in one of my daily tasks. No excuses. I knew I had done it.

And as I knelt before Him, with Him recounting my failing, I felt crushed.

Desolate, wretched.

And when He asked me what punishment I deserved, I began to sink.

Sink deeper and deeper into my submission.

Feeling it spread over me, envelope me. Own me.

To the point where I was completely lost in it.

My only thoughts were of Master, and how I had failed him.

He asked me again what punishment I deserved, and I heard my voice crack
as I tried to answer Him.

And then when I was face down, and He had His cane in His hand, and was asking me
how many strokes I deserved, I began to float.

And as each of the 12 hard, focusing strokes landed on my flesh, I knew I was home.

Eyes pricked with tears, buttocks stripped and bruising, knees tender and aching.

But completely at peace.

Body, mind and soul owned by Him.

As I need it to be.

Marked Slave

On Monday I was marked according to Master's instructions.

My nipples have been pierced with silver rings and pink swarvorski crystals.

And I am so elated I could burst.

Master is pleased with His slave.

And that is how I am feeling - completely enslaved.

As the needles were pressed into my nipples, I felt myself sinking deeper and deeper under
His influence, his control.

And as the rings were passed through my flesh, I became marked property.

And it feels perfect.

Collared!!!

We met again yesterday, and as always, it was wonderful.

But this time it was different.

He was different.

He is always interested in me, concerned for my well-being. But this time it was different.
He had me kneel beside Him and describe my day, it felt uplifting to do that, and also took away all the work related hassles, and help me focus entirely on Him.

And focus is what was needed, as with me standing blindfolded in front of a huge mirror, Master put a beautiful silver collar round my neck.

He removed the blindfold, and there I was, a collared slave -HIS collared slave.

Then followed the most intense 90 minutes of my life.

A ritual caning - each stroke symbolizing an element of my enslavement. A hard, intense, focused caning. Without warm up, and with me standing in front of the mirror.

I lost count of the strokes, I was in that place - the place that only slaves go to, and it was wonderful.

With the ritual over, He then used me repeatedly, with more pain, new pain, pain I hadn't experienced before.

I was lost in the pain, completely absorbed by it, consummed.

It was amazing.

Afterwards, when He held me, stroking me, telling me lovely things, all i felt was completely loved, completey treasured, completely cherished.

And Joy - pure Joy!!!

WOW!!!

Nothing else matters....

As my bruises fade, I am becoming more and more focused on my own internal enslavement.

It is taking over more and more of my mind. I am constantly checking and correcting myself.

Nothing that would make a huge difference to anyone else, but it does matter to Master,
and it definitely matters to me.

The simplest most irrelevant things bring my submission to the front of my mind, make me totally focused.

I stubbed my toe, and boy was I focused. I am required to be barefoot, to remind me of my servitude, and when toe met bedpost I was certainly reminded.

But at other times, Master reminds me.

I have been having a particularly bad time at work, Master has been a tower of strength.
Reassuring and encouraging.

But also very affirming.

His words to me were - " work doesn't matter, it is irrelevant, it is not what you are are. It does not define you. What matters is that you are mine - my whore, my slut, my property, my slave. And nothing else matters"

oh that is so true!!!

Thanks for the focus Master!!!

More, more, more!!!!

We met and it was wonderful!!!

As usual the time passed all too quickly.

But there for those short few hours, the only thing that mattered was my Master.

As He had promised, the whole experience was much more intense, much more focused.

And as promised, included more pain.

Sweet, sweet pain.

All consumming, totally enveloping pain.

As He "stepped up my training" with increased ferocity, the pain of the cane on my flesh completely disappeared.

I was floating in a pool of submission.

He asked me how it was, how was the pain?

Was it too much? was it enough?

No is was not too much, and there will never be enough!!!

I felt completely oblivious to the rest of the world.

All that mattered was Master.

my Master, my owner, my world.

and today, I marked - bruised, deep purple bruises.

And I'm hurting, and it's wonderful!!!

and I crave more!!!

More , more, more!!

Please Master!!!!!

Perfect

We are meeting again tomorrow, and I can't wait.

How am I feeling??

Excited - definitely.

Apprehensive - a little - I get nervous in His presence, and I have been told to expect "more" this time.

I am just so looking forward to being with Him.

Tomorrow will see me experiencing the whole gambit of emotions during the course o the morning.
Joy, fear, excitement, apprehension, sadness (yes even sadness - because of the constraints of both our alternative lives - but as He has reassured me - our time will come)

And not forgetting the fact that I will probably be fitting tiredness too - am like a five year old..... "I can't sleep - I'm too excited!!!!"

And then of course, once He touches me for the first time, the peace!!!

The calm, the solace, the sense of belonging and being owned.

Of being enslaved.

How perfect.

And it will be!!!

Bouncing!!!!

As I have said previously, our meeting was wonderful.

I was left glowing.

Having submitted to Him, and been used as He wanted, the following day I was positively bouncing.
Work hassles didn't worry me, I was oblivious to the mundane moanings of the world around me.
This fabulous feeling was all I needed, and, coupled with the news that I was to be collared, nothing could spoil my joy.

Why then did the next morning find me desolate, lost and feeling completely drained.
What had happened, where had my "joy, joy" feelings gone?

Research, and chatting with a few other, much more experienced slaves told me.

"Darling, you have "dropped""

OH!!! What the F**K???

Further chatting led me to discover that although I had "played" before I had never got to the point where it became part of me.

As one slave "friend" put it - "You ain't fully submitted until you have properly dropped"

When I questioned that statement, she told me that for her - subdrop was similar to a hangover, the better the party- the worse the hangover!!!

I think I get what she means, but for me, I think I will just take it as another indicator of how far I have come.
I am experiencing things I have never felt before.
And I have been told to expect more.

The first of those will be my collaring, just the thought of it makes my tummy flip.

As He has told me it will be so special. And will mean so much.

I will be owned, collared, His.

oh Wow.

I just have to be patient!!! And wait for our next meeting!!!!

Patient - what's that!!!!!

Pure bliss.....

We met as arranged and had the most perfect time.


And I am feeling wonderful today.


I was spanked, thrashed and caned - And as each blow landed I sank deeper and deeper into pure bliss.


I wanted every lash, I craved every stroke.


My wrists were shackled, and when He closed the cuffs onto my wrists, He told me they symbolized my enslavement to Him, the binding of me to Him.

His ownership of me.

Over and over He told me I was His, His possession.


And over and over He called me His slave, driving that fact deep into my psyche.


And as He did so a feeling of calm closed round me.


As the lashs landed on my flesh, all I felt was a sense of peace.


The pain was soothing, cleansing, purifying my very being, until all that was left was submission, obedience, devotion, and trust.


All that was left was Me.


His slave.


And now a slave about to be collared.

Pure bliss.

An enslaved mind

We are due to meet tomorrow, and I can't wait.

Something has happened to me over recent days. Changes in my mind set.
It is difficult to explain, but I am beginning to think like a slave.
My thought patterns centre on being His slave, on serving Him, and pleasing Him.

My previous Master never called me His slave, I was never collared by Him, I was never owned.
Now I am. He tells me so. I am His slave, His property.

And I feel that this is how I am meant to be.

Tomorrow is going to be a very special day. I am already preparing and being prepared.

As I become more and more enslaved, I am becoming more and more free.

Free to be how I am meant to be.

A Slave.

Changes!!!!

Master has begun shaping his ne slave into how He wants her..

My hair has been cut and coloured, I am now much blonder, and my hair is much neater!!!!

I love it!!!!

My previous Master had ordered me NEVER to have my hair cut, He wanted me to cultivate a ponytail.

So after two hours in the Hairdresser's chair, a new sleeker blonder slave emerged!!!

And Master liked it!!!

My name has been changed too, I have a new slave name.

It is how He addresses me all the time, It is now my user name on various websites and forums that I use, including the one we met on, and it is how I will be known from now on.

Silverslut - pleased to meet you!!!

Master has made arrangements for us to meet next week.

He has already issued some instructions, and has told me to prepare for the "next step" (whatever that may be??)

I know I am excited, and delighted that We are meeting again.

And I also know that virtually all traces of my previous Master are gone, I am His now!!

Absolutely, completely, totally.

And I love it!!

Seconds out round 2

We met again at the same hotel.

This time, as Master and slave.

Instructions followed to the letter.

Another perfect evening.

New instructions issued. Things for me to work on.

But now can honestly say all doubt, reservation, apprehension is gone.

I am happy.

I am still nervous, of what He will ask me to do next, of what the future holds, and of what will happen should I fail Him in anyway.

But none the less. Happy.

And so looking forward to what comes next.

Please release Me!!!

I had given Him my consent, I wanted him to claim me as His own, but I was still owned by another.

And so I was given the wretched task of writing to my Master, and asking Him to release me.

He was lovely, He knew it was coming, and He was happy for me.

He wants me to give Him "progress reports" and has said He will always be there should I need Him.

Oh and He was happy with my new choice, because He was a fellow golfer!!!!

Gee thanks!!!

A meeting of Minds

We agreed to meet in a local bar, we had arranged to meet at 2pm, I arrived at 1.40pm, and He was already waiting.

That was a good sign I felt.

I was so nervous, I felt physically sick. I was still doubting my need to have a new Master.

We had talked, and talked, and talked.

But there was still something - not sure what it was, loyalty to my previous Master I guess.

Anyway, He had ordered me a drink, a glass of wine, He watched me have a drink the night before, on the web cam. It was waiting, another good sign.

We chatted for a while, and He was lovely!!!!

I felt comfortable, safe, and I genuinely liked Him.

We had agreed that if I was happy, we would move onto a local hotel. He had booked a room.

We left the bar after about 45 minutes.

As we waited for the lift He stroked my shoulder and my arm, He was lovely, and He had the most beautiful voice.

I have always been attrached by accents, and a soft Irish brogue is a killer - another good sign.

We entered the hotel room, and I followed the instructions He had given me the day before.

Then followed a perfect afternoon of exploration and discovery.

Of testing and investigating.

Of pain and pleasure.

Of giving and taking.

Of dominance and submission.

He had me, I knew then!!!

Lock me up and throw away the key!!!

His completely.

All I needed was to know He wanted me.

We had agreed that we would talk the following morning.

and we did.

He offered me what I wanted, what my previous master couldn't.

and I offered Him what He wanted.

Me - absolutely, completely, entirely.

Totally.

His.

In the beginning..........

I was happy or I thought I was!!

I was in a Master/submissive relationship with a very lovely Man, but our relationship was mostly on-line with very infrequent meetings. He lived 300 miles away from me, and had His own family 150 miles further on from here.

It was too difficult, He said.

So He instructed me to find someone closer.

I didn't want too, I didn't need too, I was OK the way I was.

None of these arguements made any impression on His thinking.

I did, in His words deserve more.

And so, like a "good sub" I did as I was told.

It didn't take long, with in a day or two I had 70 replies to a profile on a dating site.

And so, I began to sift through the e-mails.

One stood out - I had added a tag line to my profile - "a woman's submission, the greatest gift a man can receive" - and the e-mailer had responded to it.

I suddenly had the feeling that I might have found someone. We continued with the e-mails.

And then something began to spook me, He was very aloof, very serious, very stern.

I was a little scared, and my original positivity was shaken.

He was too dreconian, too intense, it seemed He took himself too seriously.

He sensed I was unsettled, and asked me why. I told Him, and He accepted my reasonings, but did His best that He really was a nice guy.

And so with those reasurrances I agreed to meet Him...........